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Monday, January 29, 2018

Cemetery Girl

Two years ago I came upon a little girl. 

The stone slanted marker was small and old, but despite this she was clearly loved. A small concrete garden fence traced around the where she was laid. It's impossible to know if the boarder was there to protect her from being walked over or just as a way to express love for a lost child, but the sight of it stands out despite being surrounded by larger and more intricate grave markers of the era.  

I remember her being near the side of one of the roads that wound through the cemetery, in the old section towards the front. Wether by carelessness of others or the sinking and changing of the earth, her little fence had become disoriented, one side fallen over completely and another on at a harsh angle. I almost walked past it but for some reason it pulled at my heart strings and I felt compelled to stop. 

I spent a moment with her, getting to know what I could about her, and debating if I should disturb her at all. Ultimately I felt that repairing her resting place would be an act of love, since her parents and siblings were long gone and their children were probably gone too. I lifted the stones and shifted to earth and grass beneath them, pressing their fitted edges back together the best that could be done. 

I vowed to myself to come back to make sure she was still okay, but with every visit to the cemetery I search and search for her but she's nowhere to be found. 

Thursday, January 25, 2018

untitled 8

I'm nervous.

We sit on the couch with our legs intertwined
and you catch me studying your features
because you were nothing more than a stranger last week

But you're still a stranger now
and I want to do anything to change that
so I can justify how comforting I find you
or how easily you opened me up

Anxiety fills me up instead
when I see the the little cracks
tracing along our edges

We want the future
but we've never had a proper foundation to stand on

Sunday, January 21, 2018

comforts

lean into me
softly
tell me you care

intertwined fingers
and bodies

warmth on a cold night
a calm to my storm
all with a swift brush of hair from my face.

Hand to heart
to throat
mouth to neck

I've found comfort in your arms
and hope in your smile

trapped

I feel nothing as intensely
as the wholeness I've found
without you here to fight me
hand on my head,
face to the ground.

You told me I was broken
but you made me this way
my pieces didn't fit you
but you still demanded that I stay

To you love meant screaming
tribulations and trials
standing there to take it all,
faking my smile.